The world* has gone mousevaark mad. This is indeed a wonderful thing, as mousevaarks have many beneficial effects on those that think they own them.  In fact, when you make a mousevaark, you will just become its assistant. But in the nicest possible way.
To welcome a mousevaark, or two or twelve (you know who you are) into your life, you will need to avail yourself of the mousevaark pattern guide. This comes nicely packed within the Rubbish Revamped booklet, How to Make Monsters & Monkeys, which costs £2.50 for a digital download. 
Oh, no wait, due to current circumstances we really think everyone that wants one should easily get to make a vaark! So the booklet is currently completely free. Yippee! Free, for a future life beholden to making, entertaining, feeding biscuits to and being enthralled by your new sock friends. Who would resist? Download your copy of How to Make Monsters & Monkeys
* although we might occasionally enjoy some dramatic license, this is not actually a lie. Vaark superfan Sue (see more below), has devoted herself to tracking all known mousevaarks around the world. Contact her to get yours added! 

Howzabout meeting some other mousevaark fans? Join the madness at Where Mousevaarks Meet, their very own facebook group at

There's a few vaarks on Twitter too, although they don't helpfully congregate in just one space. You could start by following Ratvaark who was the pioneer social media star for the species.  And if you want to investigate all mousevaarks on Twitter, well, grab a bottle of wine or a pot of tea, and check out this list of Mousevaarks on Twitter

Meet more mousevaarks!

An information page about vaarks would not be complete with mention of the biggest fan, and most loyal and creative assistant, to mousevaarks: Sue Archer. Sue's massive clan of vaarks lead an exciting life that runs from music festivals to Halloween fun to running their own Olympic games, encompassing weddings, transatlantic trips and many more adventures (often involving the search for snacks). You can follow their adventures here
I am so grateful to - and superbly entertained by - Sue for developing such a creative pattern for my little sock creature creation. May you all have us much fun!

oops what happened to the popcorn machine?